another big cry
i’ve had this reminder to send people my music for a few days now, and i thought about doing it this morning, and then i imagined what it would be like if i were in the same room with them while they listened. i’d feel like screaming and throwing things and then curling up in the corner and telling them to make it stop, over and over again… and then i started crying, and couldn’t stop
i tried to imagine what it’d feel like instead if chloe was listening to it and enjoying it, but instead it would just make me feel weird and uncomfortable… and then i kept crying because my brain must be really broken
i think i might mentally consider purity route to be an emotional wound for me – one which never fully healed.