Quote
Sewerslvt – Drowning in the Sewer (2019)
but why do i want to like her? to affirm my own corrosion?
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(but are you actually corroded? or do you just want to be?)
i still see myself as innocent… painfully, really.
and i think a part of me never really understood what makes it so wrong.
a smiling face is a smiling face, ne?
love is love, ne?
and to love is human… ne?
maybe, not so deep inside me, there’s a lonely little boy who got uprooted for reasons she didn’t understand, and who never fully healed.
a soft, sensitive little boy who was bound to get broken eventually, since that’s just how this world works, but she could’ve been prepared a little better for it too.
a curious little boy who was on the cusp of discovering something important… and had it taken away.
and when i think back to those two moments, there’s a ball, raw and red and squishy, where the feeling still resides. all the other childhood moments have long since dried out into clay imprints, yet these somehow live on.
have i been nurturing them, year after year?
is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants is and wants
but, or, they find ways to sink into everything else, and therein keep themselves alive.