Originally written for a Gemini server that I never publicly announced…
kumatora
2021.02.12
or, the residential connection makes the diary entries sound warmer.
-/oyddmdhs+:. lilly@kumatora
-odNMMMMMMMMNNmhy+-` --------------
-yNMMMMMMMMMMMNNNmmdhy+- OS: Gentoo/Linux x86_64
`omMMMMMMMMMMMMNmdmmmmddhhy/` Kernel: 5.10.6-gentoo
omMMMMMMMMMMMNhhyyyohmdddhhhdo` Uptime: 7 days, 7 hours, 28 mins
.ydMMMMMMMMMMdhs++so/smdddhhhhdm+` Packages: 1297 (emerge)
oyhdmNMMMMMMMNdyooydmddddhhhhyhNd. Shell: zsh 5.8
:oyhhdNNMMMMMMMNNNmmdddhhhhhyymMh Resolution: 2560x1440, 1920x1200, 1920x1200
.:+sydNMMMMMNNNmmmdddhhhhhhmMmy DE: Plasma 5.19.5
/mMMMMMMNNNmmmdddhhhhhmMNhs: WM: KWin
`oNMMMMMMMNNNmmmddddhhdmMNhs+` WM Theme: Gently-Blur
`sNMMMMMMMMNNNmmmdddddmNMmhs/. Theme: Gently [KDE], Breeze-Dark [GTK2/3]
/NMMMMMMMMNNNNmmmdddmNMNdso:` Icons: candy-icons [Plasma], candy-icons [GTK2/3]
+MMMMMMMNNNNNmmmmdmNMNdso/- Terminal: kitty
yMMNNNNNNNmmmmmNNMmhs+/-` Terminal Font: Source Code Pro
/hMMNNNNNNNNMNdhs++/-` CPU: AMD Ryzen 9 3950X (32) @ 3.500GHz
`/ohdmmddhys+++/:.` GPU: NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1660 Ti
`-//////:--. GPU: AMD ATI Radeon RX 5500/5500M / Pro 5500M
Memory: 16949MiB / 64225MiBthis site is currently being hosted by kumatora: a kvm machine built for handling pretty much anything i’d want to throw at her.
⇒ you can see a picture of her here [258 KiB]
as you can see from the neofetch, i chose gentoo for the base/hypervisor os, though all of the services that i want to expose to the outside world (including this gemini server) are running on a debian vm inside. initially kuma was designed to run windows as a vm guest, so that i could have access to everything that i can’t / don’t want to run on linux, but it turned out that i don’t have a whole lot that needs windows so it goes mostly unused. she’s overpowered, an energy drain, and heavy as all hell, but she is my machine and i love her so.
a couple months after building her, i had the idea of using some of that spare power to host some simple services, largely out of an infatuation for the home server era of the ’90s and early 2000s. and as i was figuring out the logistics for actually doing so, i was forced to confront the general impracticality of hosting a home server in this day and age. my isp blocks port 80, for starters, and likely for good reason. the cost of an ubuntu vps somewhere would probably be about as much as the electricity it costs to keep this (or another spare computer) online overnight, so it’s not worth it on that end either. plus i assume that there are a plethora of security and optimization concerns that, unless you’re an expert in these domains (and i’m not), you’re bound to fall victim to in one way or another.
but really, there was no other way that i could host something like this.
i’ve come to experience a kind of joy in using technology as a means for personal expression. but this seems pretty normal; i think other people just call it ricing.
still, i think there’s value in having everything set up in a way that reflects how you engage with the world. the system becomes an extension of yourself – your cares and values on display. a cluttered desk tells a story, as does a clean one.
⇒ kumatora running windows 10 inside qemu with the gpu being passed through [1.0 MiB]
⇒ screenshot of kumatora connected via vnc to my previous computer (a hackintosh named “navi”) [4.2 MiB]
⇒ screenshot of arch running inside gentoo: the ultimate meme [3.9 MiB]
plus, i guess i’ve been infatuated with the aesthetic of the linux desktop, in its various forms. it feels like there’s more room and incentive for going off the beaten path and experimenting with ui layouts that prioritize how you want to use your computer above all else. lately i’ve been browsing through the linux.org.ru gallery archive, which has user-submitted screenshots of desktops stretching back to 1999; and while trends, fashions, and preferences have varied from epoch to epoch, there’s a certain aspiration which binds them all:
⇒ linux.org.ru gallery archive
perhaps we can call it a commitment to existing in a certain way.
currently, this computer gets put to sleep whenever i decide to sleep too, which means that any of the services running on it also go offline. sure i could keep my computer online all night, but that costs money and it means i’d have to listen to my computer running all night. maybe i’d find that comforting in time, though i also enjoy the idea of kuma and i going to sleep together.
while debating whether to keep the site here or move it somewhere else, i started thinking about what it means to run a home server in an era when doing so basically makes no sense. and i guess i’ve started to take the position that the conditions of hosting should reflect the content hosted on a platform. it only makes sense for the data and the means of accessing the data to align thematically.
and i want this to be an intensely personal place. to be something different from a “personal gemlog,” because those typically entail an orientation toward public consumption. that is, even though it’s you, it’s a you that you want the world to see, and you put it out there as a beacon to attract those like you.
this stuff? well, i don’t want the world to see it, yet i still feel compelled to make it accessible anyway.
for some reason i want there to be some record of the dysphoric, self-loathing mess i used to be and still kinda am, in a way that i never allowed my albums to fully capture.
i know there’s nobody quite like me on here, yet i feel like that adds to the spectacle of it all.
my desires, my dreams, my disappointments, my dirt.
my attempts at human connection gone awry.
and those don’t belong on anonymous ubuntu server.
they’re too close to me to leave my side.
(honestly i’m not sure yet if i want to advertise this. i genuinely hope this doesn’t appear on the list of known servers.)
(so if you end up here, keep it a secret, you see?)
⇒ ← back